Earliest Memory | Celeste Johnson

I have a vivid first memory. I used to think it was a dream until one day I saw a picture. A picture of a little girl holding a thing that looked like a snot sucker (aka: nasal aspirator). Like a dam breaking, floods of memories came gushing back into my mind.

I remember sitting on a blanket somewhere up higher than my dad. There was a really bright light that occasionally flashed upon me. I loved the way the air rushed out at me when I aimed the toy at my face. It almost tickled. My dad was down lower, almost in the ground. It was dark down there, it scared me so I didn't look there often. The snot sucker was mesmerizing enough. I remember hearing my dad speaking to me. His words made me laugh. Time seemed very long. But I had my 'toy' to keep me occupied.

I pulled myself out of the memory long enough to realize that this picture was of me. I asked my mom about it. She told me that my dad wanted to do a photo shoot with me. I knew my whole life that my dad loved photography - which is probably where I get that same love from. She continued to explain that he had me sitting on the bed, playing with a snot sucker (guess that's where I get the term from). I wondered if my dad really meant for me to have it or if he did what most parent's do, let the kid hold the thing they are whining to hold.

Looking at myself, with chubby cherubic cheeks, my mind sucked me back into the past. I was so fascinated with that snot sucker, that my dad was able to capture me on film. I vaguely remember bright flashes of light. I would look up to see what it was, but would squeeze the bulbous toy and air would hit my face again. It would distract me and cause me to forget the flash I couldn't see anymore and go back to staring at my toy.

I blinked and was pulled out of my memory again. I asked my mom how old I was in this picture. She told me, "18 months." Wow, I never imagined I would remember the sights and feelings and thoughts of my 18 month old self.

Every time I see that angel, sitting on a bed, light brown hair all in disarray, holding that snot sucker, I smile and can almost feel rush of air on my face.