Adventures With Shadow: My 4 1/2 Month Old Puppy

Shadow does not like the car very much.  At best she tolerates it.  I am trying to get her used to it so I took her with me today to pick up the girls from school.  When she and I got to Lily's school, she barked like the crazy dingo she is and the hair on her back stood up in a Mohawk all the way down to her tail.  On our way to get Rebekah, she roamed the van and ate all the flotsam and jetsam she could find.  Who needs their car vacuumed?

After getting Rebekah, Shadow decided she wanted to sit in my lap.  She isn't the tiny thing she used to be.  She is 30 pounds of lean muscle, hair, and sharp nails.  As I maneuvered  my arms around her to accommodate her on my lap, she got scared and much like a mountain goat going up a steep cliff, Shadow tried to climb up me.  Except instead of a goat, it was Shadow, and instead of a steep cliff, it was my boobs.  She even was able to wedge one of her back paws INTO my bra, THROUGH my shirt.  That is talent, folks!

Her paw pushed so far down my bra as she tried to climb higher that when I finally pulled her foot out, I felt something snap.  Shadow tested the limits of my bra's cup-size and the under-wire in my bra lost. 

Shadow: 1         My Bra: 0

Now I gotta go buy a new bra.  Yes, I have other bras, but they are for working out.  I only had one good bra... well, I used to.  So, if you see me tomorrow before I get a new bra, don't laugh at my uneven lopsidedness.

Family Star of the Day!!

This morning, I awoke to the alarm, turned it off and promptly fell back asleep.  Every Sunday, I am the first person up, I get the rest of the family up and we all get ready for church.  Well, we have the 9 AM slot this year and since I tend to stay up late on Saturdays, I have a hard time getting up Sunday mornings - which explains why I didn't stay awake after my alarm went off.

That brings me to 9:30.... I get a knock on my bedroom door.  I can always tell which kid it is by their knock.  It was family star of the day!!

Which was.............Lily.  She asked me why we weren't going to church.... and she was already all dressed and had been waiting on the couch since 8:40.  She must have been watching TV and got distracted (she is *my* daughter, after all) before she realized I wasn't up.

The cute little thing was sad we were going to miss church because it was Fast Sunday and she was looking forward to bearing her testimony (she is our only kid who LOVES to bear her testimony).  I told her that I was going to also and now we wouldn't get that chance.  So I had her climb into bed with Bill and I while I decided to snuggle her and I bore her my testimony.

So even though we missed church today, it ended up being a great day.  Yes, it was fast Sunday, but I made the family a huge breakfast.  We all sat around the TV, ate breakfast, and watched the TV show "Bones."  We never let the kids play video games on Sundays but we decided to forgo that rule just for today but on one condition: they had to play a game together.  They had a lot of fun.

Later we played "Don't Eat Pete" and then watched some more TV.  It was a very lazy day but very needed.  And before bedtime, we sat the kids down and had a great discussion about how we can be a stronger family.  I told the kids that Lily was the family star of the day.  She smiled.  She has been going through so much stuff lately and needed that recognition. :)

Whirlwind

I got lost somewhere in the last few weeks!!  I found myself today, exhausted and lying in bed - forced to rest to let my body catch up with the time that spun by.

I mentioned a while ago that Lily had an appointment time set up for March 18.  We had to reschedule. :(  I will get to that in a bit....

Tuesday, I got my brakes check out, they are ok for now.  I also got the oil changed while I was at Rolling Rubber.  I was trying to get my van ready for my trip to SLC.  At 3 that day, Rebekah had her 12 year old check up.  After talking to her doctor about Lily's ANA test results, the doctor ordered some blood work for Rebekah - just to be safe.  Also, she had some other blood work to be done as well - stuff to check out her cholesterol, etc (she is kinda fluffy).  We ended the appointment with her getting a tetanus and meningitis shot.  Since the lab work required her to be fasting, I got her in bed early enough so I could take her to the lab in the morning.....

Wednesday morning, I wake up to Lily complaining that one of her eyes were goopy and it was hard to open..... Sigh.... Not only did I have to take Rebekah first thing that morning to get her blood drawn, I was going to have to take Lily to Instacare.  But I also had an appointment at Jones Paint and Glass to FINALLY get a windshield for my van - the appointment was at 9:30.  That was not going to happen because Instacare doesn't open until 9.  I called and rescheduled my appointment for 12:30.

The doctor at Instacare told me that Lily has pink eye and the adnovirus.  Plus, since Lily has been coughing for the past 1 1/2 weeks, she gave her some antibiotics for a possible sinus infection as well....  Lily is supposed to stay home the rest of the week. 

I did get the windshield in, so that is good.

Now today, I feel like crap.  I have spent most of today just laying in bed. I am trying to fight off anything I may be getting.  Lily and I have to get well because her new appointment for the Rheumatologist is NEXT Thursday and if we don't feel well, we have to reschedule again..... I understand it is to protect the other patients there, especially any other auto-immune patients, but it is just frustrating.  I keep telling myself that there is a reason behind it all - a higher reason.  I know the Lord knows that we have been waiting so long and so I know there is a reason, and that helps my frustration.

My Girlies

Over the past two years, both my girls have suffered from weird symptoms.  We have visited the doctor so many times, I have lost count.

After many different tests, and my insisting to the doctors that something *IS* wrong with Rebekah, they ruled out all sorts of stuff.  It wasn't until last week that her gastroenterologist was finally able to diagnose Rebekah with something called Abdominal Migraines.  For the next two months, we are treating it with Extra Strength Tylenol and Phenergan, as needed.  If after that time, she is still suffering, then her gastro will decide on a daily pill for Rebekah to take.

Lily's pain started in her ankles.  After enough of a specific doctor pacifying me but not helping find the reason for Lily's pain, I took her to a different doctor.  We finally got some answers.  Lily had some blood work done, and it came back that she does have something going on.  She has some sort of joint problem (possibly Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus) and has an appointment with a rheumatologist on March 18.... which can't come fast enough!

I will update more as I find out more information.
Prayers are appreciated!! Thanks!!

Some Say

Some say the unknown is worse than the known
I know this to be true
Waiting to find out...

Some also say that knowledge is power
This is also true
Knowledge will help me cope

Some say life is short
I have seen this first hand
I do not want to go through it again

So I sit
and wait
Conjuring up wild things
Of what can be wrong
Searching the internet for answers
Does little to alleviate my fears
Instead it exasperates them

I just want to know
Know what is wrong
So I can go in the right direction

Some say to live each day like it's your last
Others say to live for tomorrow
I just want her to live

To live a healthy life
I would take her pain
If it were possible

My Baby is Ten!

I cannot believe that my little Lily is ten years old today!  It is funny because when she was a toddler, she seemed so grown up that when I look back on her life, I realize how young she really was when things happened in her life.  She was around 18 months old when she was correctly naming letters of the alphabet.  I remember being at the park with her and we were spinning the squares of the tic-tac-toe game most parks have.  She spun it to "X" and said, "X!"  It actually sounded like "KS" which is how an X sounds.  I looked at her and thought maybe it was some fluke. So I spun it to an "O" and she said, "O."  I was shocked.  Over the next following days, she would grab the alphabet refrigerator magnets and show me the letters and name them.  I got so excited over this that poor Rebekah (who was only 3) would run to the fridge, pull off a magnet and name the letters.  However, Rebekah didn't know her letters and named them wrong.  I couldn't break her heart so I just smiled and said, "Yeah. Good job."  (Thankfully, that never hindered Rebekah when she really learned her letters.)

Lily just seemed so grown up from such a young age.  Even when she as born she seemed older because she had so much hair.  I am not kidding, she was half monkey.

She was a very happy baby.  As she got older, when she was tired, it was bedtime.  She wanted to go to bed early (usually around 7) and would sleep until 5 or 6 in the morning.  I joke she gets this from my dad who is a morning person.  She loved sleeping in her crib and as she got older and could talk, when she wanted to be put down, she would grab her silky (soft piece of fabric she loved) and say, "nite nite."  

Her vocabulary was quite large for such a young thing.  Around the same time she was correctly naming letters, around 18 months old, I was potty training her sister.  Lily didn't want to be left out, so she asked to be put on the toilet.  I was amazed that she actually pooped in the toilet! I thought I was going to be lucky and have two kids potty trained at the same time.  Well, Lily wanted none of it.  After she pooped, she got off the toilet, looked in and saw what she did, looked up and me and said, "Ew! That's disgusting!"  And wanted nothing to do with the toilet.

Lily was a daddy's girl through and through.  I used to joke that she only wanted me for nursing and just waited until daddy got home.  As soon as Adam was home, Lily was connected to him at the hip.  She went everywhere with him.  I truly believed her little spirit was aware that she was not going to have him for very long.  Lily was only 2 1/2 years old when Adam died.  I remember trying to figure out how I was going to explain to a toddler that she couldn't see her daddy anymore.  I don't know how either one of us got through that difficult time in life, but I know prayers got us through most of it.  And I really believe that his spirit was around her to help comfort her in the transition.

When she was 3 1/2 we moved to Cedar City.  She still wasn't potty trained all the way.  I noticed that after Adam's death, she reverted a ton.  Her knowledge of letters, her vocabulary, and just everything went backwards.  I know moving didn't help either.  Thankfully, she adjusted pretty well and was soon potty trained.  What a relief! ☺

I got remarried just before she turned 4.  She immediately fell in love with Bill.  She still loves to sit in his lap and cuddle.  I am so grateful to have found another wonderful man and one who loves children.  

And now, today, Lily turns ten. I watched her and she ran off to catch the school bus this morning and smiled as I thought back through the last ten years and am overjoyed to be her mother.  She has taught me so much.  I never thought I would learn so much from having children. 

Happy Birthday, Lily!!

Warming My Heart

Yesterday I was busy.  I got up early and got the kids ready and off to school, picked up a bit in the kitchen, worked out at the gym (ran a mile just a hair under 9 minutes!), helped out a friend, cleaned the living room, and some time around 1:30 PM, I was exhausted.  I did not sleep much the night before.  I laid down on the couch and started falling asleep.  Lily got home around 1:45 PM (early out day for Elementary School) and she set off to clean her room.  I started getting a bit cold because the window was open and it was breezy.  Instead of closing it or getting up to find a blanket (that would require me moving and waking me up more) so I just pulled my arm into my shirt and fell back asleep.  I remember part way through my nap, I felt that by tucking my arm into my shirt, that I started to warm up.  It wasn't until after my nap was over that I realized I as covered in Lily's blanket.  I asked Lily if she covered me up while I as sleeping and she said that it looked like I was cold and so she covered me up.  How sweet!

May 10, 2003

I just made it through another anniversary of Adam's death. I don't think the work "anniversary" is appropriate for occasions such as these. "Anniversary" is something that is supposed to be a happy time. Either way, this year I think I did ok. I had my moment about a week before and so when the day came, I was either ok or numb.

As for my girlies, they each had their own, separate moment of grief. Rebekah's was a few days before his death date. Every year I never tell my girls what day is getting close - why would I want to torture them? But somehow, like clockwork, they each have their moments around the same time of year. Just a few days before May 10, I tucked the kids into bed and then went to my room to play on the laptop. About ten minutes go by and Rebekah is at my bedroom door, bawling. I scooped her into my arms and we cuddled on the bed. Through her racks of sobs, she said, "I miss daddy." I just held her and let her cry. It was hard on me because there was nothing I could do to make her pain go away.

Then May 10th comes along. Like I said, usually I don't remind the girls what day that is, but we got some flowers in the mail and they wanted to know why my mom sent us some. Plus they wanted to know why I told them to give Mawgers (Patti) extra hugs at school that day. (She works in Lily's classroom) So I finally told them. They seemed ok until bed time. Lily had me hold her while she cried and cried. Rebekah was ok since she had her moment a few days before.

Lily got hit twice though. You see, for about a week before the day, Lily said she was feeling sad but kept saying, "I don't know why I am so sad." I didn't feel like telling her.

Both my girls may not have known before the day why they were feeling down, but their little spirits knew what day was coming up even though their brains didn't.

I still can't believe 7 years have gone by. Thankfully it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. There are those moments when I feel the sting of being reminded that I went through the most difficult thing in my life. But then I feel the relief of knowing that I made it through that time of my life and became a stronger person because of it.

Lily has a friend over tonight for a sleepover. I overheard her friend say to Lily, "Your dad is hilarious!"

Baking With My Girls

It was high time I taught my little cookie-munchers how to make the cookies they so happily devour. Today was Early-Out day which means that they are home a full two hours before they normally are. Since it was just us three, and the boys needed a treat to take to mutual tonight, I figured it was the perfect excuse to bust out the flour and get some cookies made.

I decided to start taking pictures just after the girls and I mixed the butter and sugars.


Lily is wearing my Christmas apron I won from the RMEF banquet this year. It is from the Hunter-Cowan store in town.
Rebekah is wearing the apron I made Bill a couple years ago.


Mmmm, look at that sugary-buttery concoction!


Lily usually does really well at cracking eggs for me when I make pancakes.


Lily didn't mind cleaning up the eggy mess.


Lily pouring in the eggs, while Rebekah pours in the vanilla.


Switching the mixer to on.


Now it is time for the flour. Rebekah is checking for bay leaves in the flour. You see, I keep whole bay leaves in the flour bucket and it keeps the weevils from invading my flour. I only need to add a few in this huge bucket and I am bug free!


Lily with a plastic butter knife to level the cup of flour.


Ok, my turn!! I am wearing the apron that my mother-in-law made for me.


I should know better by now than to hand over the camera to the girls when I am teaching them how to cook.... ok, so I posed for this picture... But still. :-) I am explaining to the girls what baking soda does for cookies.


See, this is me explaining how the cookie puffs up. I told you I was explaining baking soda! :-)


Rebekah adding some flour.... small amounts at a time.


I LOVE the look on Lily's face. When she was pouring the flour into the mixer, it made the flour poof up and drift everywhere. She didn't care for that much.


I let the girls pour the chocolate chips in. There are semi-sweet, white, and milk chocolate chips.


I had to explain to the girls how to stir in the chocolate chips without flinging cookie dough all over the kitchen.


Rebekah did manage to make a small amount fling out, but the girls were happy to eat the dough, so no harm done.


Lily enjoying the dough.


Rebekah REALLY wanted to eat that.


Look at the cute little cookie dough balls!!! I LOVE my cookie scooper!


Lily learning how to operate the cookie scooper.


Rebekah cracks me up in this photo. She is so gentle with that cookie dough that it looks like she is ready to tuck it in and read it a story.


It looks like Lily is blowing it kisses!


Rebekah all covered in flour scooping cookies to cool.


When all the cookie were done, Lily got the bowl and instead of using a spatula (why waste the time to get one) she used her fingers.


This is not the best picture, but this cookie looks like it is smiling at me and that chocolate chip on the left makes it look like it is sticking its tongue out at me!!


Ooooo, look at all that gooey goodness.... the kids are just waiting for the all clear.


Lily took a while but then settled on this one.


Lily so happy to finally get a baked cookie.


I love the look on her face.


She seriously did not take normal bites. She constantly gnawed at it as she shoved it in her mouth until it was gone.


Rebekah found the one she wanted.


She tore into that like a monkey on a cupcake.


Here she is saying, "Mmmmmm!"


She is trying to get the little bits of cookie off her lip.


What does a cookie need?? MILK! Lily and her milk bubble tower.


Oooo, that cookie has my name on it!! Look at all those chocolate chips!!!


Ah, this cookie is smiling at me, too!


It is cookie paradise. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.


Here is the recipe (I halved this recipe since I didn't want 10 dozen cookies)

Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup granulated sugar
2 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1 pound (4 sticks) butter, softened (DO NOT USE MARGARINE!)
3 large eggs (if you have to halve this like I did, just use two eggs)
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract (optional, if not used, add an additional 1/2 teaspoon vanilla)
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (optional, I rarely add it)
6 cups unbleached flour
Lots of chocolate chips (what ever kind you have on hand. I usually just dump some in until it looks good.... which is about 4 cups)
2 cups chopped nuts (optional, and I left them out this time because Lily does not like nuts in her cookies)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cream sugars and butter together. Blend in eggs and extracts. Mix well. Add dry ingredients, a little at a time. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts. Drop by (or use cookie scoop) tablespoonful onto ungreased cookie sheet (I use Air Bake, they are the best.) Bake for 8 minutes. Let them cool on the rack for about 5 minutes, then transfer to wax paper covered wire rack.

Makes about 10 dozen.

Tis the Season

It has been quite chilly the last couple days. You add that to the fact that Lily has NEVER been a night owl and you get a bundled up girl falling asleep watching TV.

Like so:

If you look closely, you can see Lily's bare feet snuggling up against my laptop charger box thingy. It gets very hot and I thought it was funny that she used it to keep her toes nice and toasty.

Halloween

Halloween was bittersweet for us this year. The night before, one of our dear friends, Bonnie, was hit by a car as she was walking her dog. All day Saturday, we were worried that we were going to get a call that she died since she was in critical condition. Thankfully, she is still hanging in.

So all day, between cringing every time the phone rang, we tried to do Halloween stuff.

Rebekah carving her pumpkin.


Rebekah cleaned out her pumpkin well - ok, I helped some.


Should I be worried that Justin is smiling with a knife in his hand?? LOL


I love the look of "ew" on his face as he cleans out his pumpkin.


Lily working hard at cleaning out her pumpkin.


She is bringing the guck out through the mouth.


Bill and his pumpkin.


Then it was time for trunk-or-treating.
Bill as an awesome bow hunter.... wearing MY camo suspenders... Yes, everyone, those are mine!


All the kids. Nathan and Justin don't really like to dress up anymore, so thankfully Wal-Mart had these shirts that did the trick. And gone are the days where the girls want to dress up as princesses and girly things. Rebekah is the grim reaper and Lily is a vampire.

After trunk-or-treating, we ran to the store to get milk and a few other necessities. While we were there, I was reminding the kids that the next day was Fast Sunday. Justin argued with me and said, "No it's not." I tried explaining that it was. Finally he protested, "But tomorrow is October 32nd!" I started laughing and told him, "Uhhh, Justin, October has 31 days. No month has 32 days." He looked bewildered and said, "I thought some had 33."

After Wal-Mart we went home and the kids dumped out their candy to sort it.






I asked the kids what their favorite candies:

Nathan - His favorite are Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. He mostly got Reese's.
Justin - His favorite are Snickers or Hershey's. He mostly got Tootsie Rolls.
Rebekah - Her favorite is Kit-Kats. She mostly got Pixie Stixs.
Lily - Her favorite are Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. She mostly got Reese's.
And surprisingly enough, NO ONE got candy corn this year!!! That was a first!


As usual, we put a big bowl in the middle of the room for the kids to do their candy trading. They could put candy in and then take some out. But they began to trade amongst themselves. That is when it got amusingly interesting. I loved watching their bargaining and trading skills. Things worked out ok and no one got gypped.

Bill and I usually troll the candy bucket for rejected candy that only he and I like. We came across wax lips. The kids weren't too excited because they never played with them before and put them in the reject bucket. So we took them out and had a blast. I think that next year, they will not be so quick to discard their wax lips because they were loving how much fun Bill and I were having.

Yes, I know I am sexy!!

Bill is hot!! Rawr!

Justin is so cute.

Justin and Bill

Justin and Bill

Bill is trying to "kiss" Justin and Justin is not sure what to think about that.

So I kiss him instead. :-)