Real Oreos Rule | Celeste Johnson

Reduced fat Oreos.... NASTY!!! *gagging* As most people know, I LOVE Oreos!! A little too much. They are my nightly treat after the kids go to bed. So I decided to try the reduced fat ones..... big mistake! I should have learned my lesson a few years ago when I tried reduced fat Ruffles and fat free onion dip *still shuddering with disgust*

.........go back in time with me..........

Picture me, a few nights ago, excitedly tearing open the newly purchased package of reduced fat Oreos and taking out 6 with delight. My nose can smell the lovely scent of fresh Oreos and I enter a state of euphoria. Oreos can only be enjoyed one way: with milk! So I pour myself a nice tall glass of cold milk.

I take my tantalizing treasures with me to the living room where I sit on the couch to watch King of Queens and enjoy my little chocolate cookies. As I carefully twist the top off the first Oreo, my taste buds drool with delight. Anticipation is high as I stick my tongue out and lick the filling. For a split second, all is well in my world.

Then, without warning, my tongue retracts in horror. My taste buds start convulsing with disgust. "Must drink milk NOW!" is all I can think of to rid my poor tongue from the taste of putridness. After guzzling my milk with the gusto of an olypian, I stare at the Oreo culprit. I gaze at it in awe, how can something look so tasty, yet taste so wrong?

I think and rationalize to myself, "Oh, I must have been expecting it to taste just like regular Oreo filling and my tongue wasn't used to this different flavor." So what do I do?? I decide to give it another shot..... this time, I carefully stick out my tongue, which has a mind of its own and is upset at what it knows is coming. In protest, it tries so hard to get back inside the safety of my mouth. But it doesn't prevail in time, that white filling attacks it again. Now I have angered my tongue twice - it isn't happy with me.

I start making that "cat-hacking-a-hairball" noise. To end my misery, I chug down the rest of my milk. I go into the kitchen to get MORE milk and stare with hatred at the pretty blue Oreo package. It was then that it occurred to me - I just spent $2.50 for those Oreos that tasted like something I could have got for free from the bottom of my garbage can!!

The moral of the story is: reduced fat Oreos are what evil tastes like.