I got this in an email and thought it was pretty funny. This is why Republican men are happier than Democrat men:
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Why Republican Men Are Happier Than Democrat Men
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Bill's Babblings
9/5/10 - "Justin, shut your moose!"
5/17/10 - "Shut up and open your mouth."
5/3/10 - "Where is my pill sack? Justin grab my pill sack."
4/12/10 - "Nate, sit on your butt, I can't read."
11/26/09 When he tasted the pumpkin pie the girls made he said, "Mmmm. It tastes like sugar plum fairies all blended together with a fat pumpkin."
11/09/09 "That would be painful if artichokes shot out your wahoo."
11/2/09 - "Did I say I wanted you to touch my nipple?"
Summer 2008:
"He's back for your rack???!"
5/17/10 - "Shut up and open your mouth."
5/3/10 - "Where is my pill sack? Justin grab my pill sack."
4/12/10 - "Nate, sit on your butt, I can't read."
11/26/09 When he tasted the pumpkin pie the girls made he said, "Mmmm. It tastes like sugar plum fairies all blended together with a fat pumpkin."
11/09/09 "That would be painful if artichokes shot out your wahoo."
11/2/09 - "Did I say I wanted you to touch my nipple?"
Summer 2008:
"He's back for your rack???!"
Celeste's Sayings
These are things I never thought I would say before I had kids...
9/6/10 "I just licked my tongue."
May 2010 - "I feel like a bobblehead of myself."
"Nathan, move your butt so daddy can get down."
"Get your foot out of my butthole!"
(It was 17 degrees outside and Rebekah wanted to wear just a sweater with damp hair from her shower) "If you get sick and die, don't come crying to me."
"Get up, you are laying on your teeth."
"The wind is really windy." (not said to a particular child - it just shows how brain dead I am from having kids)
"Ah! Get the bra out of my hair!"
"Your brother is NOT a pillow!"
"Get your hand out of the jelly jar!"
"His loin cloth is smiling at me."
"Electric doors are not toys!!"
"Don't talk to me with that tone in your eyes."
"The machine is eating our balls!" (we were bowling, get your minds out of the gutter)
"Does urine expire?"
"Be careful!! Ketchup is NOT a toy!"
"Behave or you don't get broccoli with dinner." (said to Lily who LOVES broccoli)
(after watching a funny "Big Bang Theory" episode where one of the characters says, "Crap on a cracker." Justin tried to say it.....) " 'Crack on a crapper?' I think you meant, 'Crap on a cracker.' "
"Rebekah, wake me up in the middle of the night if you have to poop."
"Bill, don't bite Nathan!"
"Bill, is that Jell-o on your shoe?"
"Lily, your butt is not a sponge!"
"Put down the pig!"
"Get off Ronald and let's go!"
"Look at me. Do I look like a shopping cart?"
"Don't milk your father's nipple." (long story LOL)
"No, you can't have a cat, even if you keep it in a box in your room."
"Don't fart in your brother's face!"
"Rebekah, you don't have nuts."
"Don't eat the margarine!"
"Who clogged the toilet?"
"You can have a cookie for breakfast tomorrow."
9/6/10 "I just licked my tongue."
May 2010 - "I feel like a bobblehead of myself."
"Nathan, move your butt so daddy can get down."
"Get your foot out of my butthole!"
(It was 17 degrees outside and Rebekah wanted to wear just a sweater with damp hair from her shower) "If you get sick and die, don't come crying to me."
"Get up, you are laying on your teeth."
"The wind is really windy." (not said to a particular child - it just shows how brain dead I am from having kids)
"Ah! Get the bra out of my hair!"
"Your brother is NOT a pillow!"
"Get your hand out of the jelly jar!"
"His loin cloth is smiling at me."
"Electric doors are not toys!!"
"Don't talk to me with that tone in your eyes."
"The machine is eating our balls!" (we were bowling, get your minds out of the gutter)
"Does urine expire?"
"Be careful!! Ketchup is NOT a toy!"
"Behave or you don't get broccoli with dinner." (said to Lily who LOVES broccoli)
(after watching a funny "Big Bang Theory" episode where one of the characters says, "Crap on a cracker." Justin tried to say it.....) " 'Crack on a crapper?' I think you meant, 'Crap on a cracker.' "
"Rebekah, wake me up in the middle of the night if you have to poop."
"Bill, don't bite Nathan!"
"Bill, is that Jell-o on your shoe?"
"Lily, your butt is not a sponge!"
"Put down the pig!"
"Get off Ronald and let's go!"
"Look at me. Do I look like a shopping cart?"
"Don't milk your father's nipple." (long story LOL)
"No, you can't have a cat, even if you keep it in a box in your room."
"Don't fart in your brother's face!"
"Rebekah, you don't have nuts."
"Don't eat the margarine!"
"Who clogged the toilet?"
"You can have a cookie for breakfast tomorrow."
Nathan's Notions
4/2/10 - "Stop poking my lover nutters."
"This is just as bad as a Congo line on bingo night."
1/25/10 - "Don't touch my n00bsies."
8/27/09 - "Your grandkids would call you crazy Uncle Bob!" (when talking about Bill)
8/22/09 - "He looked at me with a whiny voice."
2009 "It's not like we're blood related." (if you want to know the story, just ask.)
In 2004, we were reading the Christmas story and I asked the kids if they knew what a virgin was. Nathan sighed and said, "Yes, someone from Virginia."
"This is just as bad as a Congo line on bingo night."
1/25/10 - "Don't touch my n00bsies."
8/27/09 - "Your grandkids would call you crazy Uncle Bob!" (when talking about Bill)
8/22/09 - "He looked at me with a whiny voice."
2009 "It's not like we're blood related." (if you want to know the story, just ask.)
In 2004, we were reading the Christmas story and I asked the kids if they knew what a virgin was. Nathan sighed and said, "Yes, someone from Virginia."
Justin's Jargon
10/19/10 - "We don't want everyone to feel our stench."
10/19/10 - "Everyone doesn't have a crotch."
10/18/10 - "That's not what she said."
10/18/10 - "My muffin was a cookie after school."
9/27/10 - "You snooze, you choose."
9/26/10 - "A banana is curved and long."
9/26/10 - We are talking about doing the bus driver dance and Justin starts dancing and saying, "Honk, honk! Choo, choo!"
9/26/10 - "Print it in your mind."
5/31/10 - "That kid is not an adult."
5/17/10 - "We don't look at pictures, we look at music."
"The cold air is really cold."
5/16/10 - Said to Bill, "Hurry up or I'll lose my grapes!"
5/12/10 - "Are all movies based on movies?"
"I want to see the smell."
5/4/10 - "What are my pants wet??!" (he said this after sitting in a chair that just got water spilled on it)
5/3/10 - "It causes sweat which makes it sweaty."
5/1/10 - "Can't he call 911 and sue them?"
4/30/10 - "I'm gonna text 911."
4/29/10 - "I'm only going out there for a sex." (meant to say "seconds")
4/20/10 - "Breakfast is a nutritious part of breakfast!"
April 2010 - "I'm just rubbing my soldier."
"Air has gone extinct."
"I choke on my pits."
"My butt is cheese."
March/April 2010 - We were playing a church game and I asked, "Who was the first man on earth?" And Justin piped up, all excited, and yelled, "NEIL ARMSTRONG!"
February/March 2010 - Justin had to do a Career Paper for school. He was googling different careers, trying to decide what jobs to look up. He asked me, "Hey, how about a co-worker?"
Unsure on the date. Justin asked me for a Popsicle and I told him he could have one. He asked me where they were. Sarcastically I told him, "In the cupboard." He went over to the cupboard and looked inside, "They aren't in here."
1/31/10 - "She un-dyed her hair."
1/31/10 - "What are you trying to do? Decapitate my body?"
Dec 2009/Jan 2010:
"We knocked him off his noodle."
"Supposable thumbs."
"You need to get bobble eyes."
"Are big things always small?"
12/09 - When watching "The Office," Dwight says something about circumcision. Justin giggled so I asked him if he even knew what a circumcision was and he said, "Isn't that where they make your thing bigger?"
12/20/09 - "Who is that? Is that O'neill Shack?"
11/29/09 - We were talking about famous quarterbacks and Justin said, "Oh, I know one: Brad Pitt!!!"
11/27/09 - Justin wanted to go to bed and all of us aren't ready yet. I told him that the world doesn't revolve around him and he said, "Yes it does, that is what Columbus said."
11/09/09 The kids were talking about what things stand for, such as VIP and LOL. Rebekah asked him what MFI means and Justin said, "Mom Fertilizes Ink." Then he said, "What does USA stand for?" so I said, "United States of America" and he said, "No, it stands for Urinate Some Artichokies"
11/08/09 Nate was complaining that Justin was wearing his shirt and Justin said, "No, it's too big for you!"
11/8/09 We watched this commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09-WlGhfIG8 and Justin said, "That is not how they make them!"
11/5/09 "I'm gonna put my M&Ms in my M&Ms!"
10/31/09 We were at the store and I was explaining that the next day was fast Sunday and he was arguing with me. I told him that October only has 31 days and he said, "I thought it had 32 days." I told him that no month had over 31 days and he said, "I thought some months had 33."
10/31/09 "Just read the movie!"
10/31/09 While drinking water from our kitchen faucet, Justin said, "This tastes like tap water!"
10/21/09 "I'm popping my arm knuckles."
5/9/09 "I've heard this picture before."
3/30/09 When watching Rebekah put in her retainer, he said, "Those are dentures."
3/8/09 "Is there a such thing as a ten dollar bill?"
3/1/09 Justin was trying to remember something he wanted to tell me and said, "Why can't I forget?"
1/23/09 "Later in my life, like today...."
1/23/09 I was showing the kids some National Geographic animal flash cards and showed Justin the African elephant one and asked him what it was. He said, "An elephant, duh." Being facetious I said, "No, it is an African Elephant." He looked at me like I was horrible and said, "No, an African-American elephant."
10/19/10 - "Everyone doesn't have a crotch."
10/18/10 - "That's not what she said."
10/18/10 - "My muffin was a cookie after school."
9/27/10 - "You snooze, you choose."
9/26/10 - "A banana is curved and long."
9/26/10 - We are talking about doing the bus driver dance and Justin starts dancing and saying, "Honk, honk! Choo, choo!"
9/26/10 - "Print it in your mind."
5/31/10 - "That kid is not an adult."
5/17/10 - "We don't look at pictures, we look at music."
"The cold air is really cold."
5/16/10 - Said to Bill, "Hurry up or I'll lose my grapes!"
5/12/10 - "Are all movies based on movies?"
"I want to see the smell."
5/4/10 - "What are my pants wet??!" (he said this after sitting in a chair that just got water spilled on it)
5/3/10 - "It causes sweat which makes it sweaty."
5/1/10 - "Can't he call 911 and sue them?"
4/30/10 - "I'm gonna text 911."
4/29/10 - "I'm only going out there for a sex." (meant to say "seconds")
4/20/10 - "Breakfast is a nutritious part of breakfast!"
April 2010 - "I'm just rubbing my soldier."
"Air has gone extinct."
"I choke on my pits."
"My butt is cheese."
March/April 2010 - We were playing a church game and I asked, "Who was the first man on earth?" And Justin piped up, all excited, and yelled, "NEIL ARMSTRONG!"
February/March 2010 - Justin had to do a Career Paper for school. He was googling different careers, trying to decide what jobs to look up. He asked me, "Hey, how about a co-worker?"
Unsure on the date. Justin asked me for a Popsicle and I told him he could have one. He asked me where they were. Sarcastically I told him, "In the cupboard." He went over to the cupboard and looked inside, "They aren't in here."
1/31/10 - "She un-dyed her hair."
1/31/10 - "What are you trying to do? Decapitate my body?"
Dec 2009/Jan 2010:
"We knocked him off his noodle."
"Supposable thumbs."
"You need to get bobble eyes."
"Are big things always small?"
12/09 - When watching "The Office," Dwight says something about circumcision. Justin giggled so I asked him if he even knew what a circumcision was and he said, "Isn't that where they make your thing bigger?"
12/20/09 - "Who is that? Is that O'neill Shack?"
11/29/09 - We were talking about famous quarterbacks and Justin said, "Oh, I know one: Brad Pitt!!!"
11/27/09 - Justin wanted to go to bed and all of us aren't ready yet. I told him that the world doesn't revolve around him and he said, "Yes it does, that is what Columbus said."
11/09/09 The kids were talking about what things stand for, such as VIP and LOL. Rebekah asked him what MFI means and Justin said, "Mom Fertilizes Ink." Then he said, "What does USA stand for?" so I said, "United States of America" and he said, "No, it stands for Urinate Some Artichokies"
11/08/09 Nate was complaining that Justin was wearing his shirt and Justin said, "No, it's too big for you!"
11/8/09 We watched this commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09-WlGhfIG8 and Justin said, "That is not how they make them!"
11/5/09 "I'm gonna put my M&Ms in my M&Ms!"
10/31/09 We were at the store and I was explaining that the next day was fast Sunday and he was arguing with me. I told him that October only has 31 days and he said, "I thought it had 32 days." I told him that no month had over 31 days and he said, "I thought some months had 33."
10/31/09 "Just read the movie!"
10/31/09 While drinking water from our kitchen faucet, Justin said, "This tastes like tap water!"
10/21/09 "I'm popping my arm knuckles."
5/9/09 "I've heard this picture before."
3/30/09 When watching Rebekah put in her retainer, he said, "Those are dentures."
3/8/09 "Is there a such thing as a ten dollar bill?"
3/1/09 Justin was trying to remember something he wanted to tell me and said, "Why can't I forget?"
1/23/09 "Later in my life, like today...."
1/23/09 I was showing the kids some National Geographic animal flash cards and showed Justin the African elephant one and asked him what it was. He said, "An elephant, duh." Being facetious I said, "No, it is an African Elephant." He looked at me like I was horrible and said, "No, an African-American elephant."
Rebekah's Ramblings
9/26/10 - We were talking about what we learned today and Lily was talking about the story Elijah and when the people were worshiping Baal. Rebekah said, "I thought it was 'basil.'"
May 2010 - "The airbag will deflate your arm."
April 2010 - "Oysters are real!"
10/25/09 - "We are as the armies of Helium..."
8/05/09 - "Oh look, cartoons are on! Let's drain our brains!"
6/27/09 - She saw a Hi C drink and pronounced it, "Hick"
2/28/09 - "I have more balls than Nathan. But Nathan has better ones." (by the way, she is talking about Bakugan balls... http://www.bakugan.com )
1/24/09 - Rebekah was talking about the weather and couldn't remember what lightning was and said, "Big thunder with electricity."
A couple years ago (I think 2005ish) we were driving by some SUU track runners that didn't have shirts on. I teased Rebekah and told her to look, expecting her to get grossed out. Instead she said, "Woo ooo!!"
2005 Valentine's Day - "Oh, that landed next to my nuts!" ("Rebekah, you don't have nuts!") "Yes, everyone in the world has nuts!"
May 2010 - "The airbag will deflate your arm."
April 2010 - "Oysters are real!"
10/25/09 - "We are as the armies of Helium..."
8/05/09 - "Oh look, cartoons are on! Let's drain our brains!"
6/27/09 - She saw a Hi C drink and pronounced it, "Hick"
2/28/09 - "I have more balls than Nathan. But Nathan has better ones." (by the way, she is talking about Bakugan balls... http://www.bakugan.com )
1/24/09 - Rebekah was talking about the weather and couldn't remember what lightning was and said, "Big thunder with electricity."
A couple years ago (I think 2005ish) we were driving by some SUU track runners that didn't have shirts on. I teased Rebekah and told her to look, expecting her to get grossed out. Instead she said, "Woo ooo!!"
2005 Valentine's Day - "Oh, that landed next to my nuts!" ("Rebekah, you don't have nuts!") "Yes, everyone in the world has nuts!"
Lily's Language
5/17/10 - "I'm thirsty badly."
5/16/10 - "I can see me through my eyes."
May 2010 - "I hick-dupped."
April 2010 - "Make it with all 5 hands."
10/19/09 - As we were running together, she said, "This is not how I stay so skinny."
8/2/09 "It's like pulling cheese out of someone's mouth."
3/8/09 "Mommy, smell my lips!" (she had chocolate chapstick on)
2/25/09 - Lily was cleaning off the placemats and as she was wiping dry the alphabet one and she went through each letter and named something that started with that letter. When she got to 'U' she said, "U is for.... um......... Uterus!!!"
1/24/09 "I am going to tell you something you never do to your pig..." (she never did finish her thought because we all busted up laughing)
5/16/10 - "I can see me through my eyes."
May 2010 - "I hick-dupped."
April 2010 - "Make it with all 5 hands."
10/19/09 - As we were running together, she said, "This is not how I stay so skinny."
8/2/09 "It's like pulling cheese out of someone's mouth."
3/8/09 "Mommy, smell my lips!" (she had chocolate chapstick on)
2/25/09 - Lily was cleaning off the placemats and as she was wiping dry the alphabet one and she went through each letter and named something that started with that letter. When she got to 'U' she said, "U is for.... um......... Uterus!!!"
1/24/09 "I am going to tell you something you never do to your pig..." (she never did finish her thought because we all busted up laughing)
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2 comments:
*Snort!* That is a HOOT! Thanks for sharing it!
OH Ha! Ha! that is too funny..
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