Toilet Paper Stand-Off

Yes, you read the title right. I am going to talk about toilet paper. At my house, we seem to have an unspoken toilet paper stand-off going on. When most normal people finish a roll of toilet paper, they will replace the toilet paper roller-thingy with a fresh roll - that is the common decent thing to do. But since when has my family been deemed normal?

At our house, the kids must have held a secret no-parents-allowed meeting and decided to do away with the pleasantries of common toilet paper rules. Since that meeting, the toilet paper roller-thingy has mysteriously disappeared. So, being the ever vigilant mom that I am (stop laughing) I bought a NEW roller-thingy. And yet somehow, that has made its way to the secret club where all the lost socks from the dryer hang out. The kids feign innocence as I futilely look for it. They solved the who-went-to-the-bathroom-last-and-didn't-put-a-new-roll-out dilemma on their own terms. So I have given up on them and their designs to just keep the darn roll on the counter.

That was the kids' bathroom. Now onto the master bathroom - where a similar war is waging.

It seems that my inner child doesn't want to replace the roller-thingy with a nice fresh soft roll because I ALWAYS do it. It isn't fair! *pout* I figure Bill will just replace it for me since I do the same for him. I know that it is a small marginal percentage that he will in fact replace it. I believe his inner child is having a similar dilemma. However, his inner child is whining about why he always finds the roll empty yet a half used roll on the counter next to the toilet. His compromise is putting the roll on top of the empty roll on the roller-thingy. Which drives me nuts because I know I didn't leave it there, which by my awesome deductive reasoning skills, means that he has used the toilet paper and had the chance to put it where it belongs. Yet I must not show how much it drives me nuts, so I continue this fruitless effort and simply start placing the roll where he left his. Thus perpetuating this odd toilet paper dance. Who knows how long the empty roll has been there? The cardboard tube, with its one square of toilet paper pathetically clinging on for dear life, must be enjoying the contest of stubborn wills.